some thoughts about 'bitching'

There are two kinds of people in every one's life-ones you Bitch about and others you never bitch about.
But these two categories are not watertight. As time goes by, people move from one category to the other.
your life is smooth if there is a balance between both the kinds of people. If you are confused, take a pen and paper and start writing down the names of the people who belong to either category. according to my analysis, a state of balance is attained when less than/equal to 1/5th or 20% of the people you know and interact with come under the second category i.e people you 'don't' bitch about. If the number is more than 1/5th then you are a saint. don't forget to tear that piece of paper if you really were making a note of the names!!
Golden rule of bitching-'an effective/successful bitching materialises when the person about whom you bitch never comes to know about it, or even if he/she comes to know about it you have a ready excuse to cover it up, which means bitching needs to be practised time and again and only then you achieve perfection.'
An example of bad bitching is the one which backfires at you. That should and can be avoided if you just be a little careful. Examples of that would be- bitching to the wrong person, bitching very loudly, bitching in a big and diverse group,etc. you just need to bitch at the right place at the right time. Bitching is sometimes also similar to a sudden urge to vomit.
As rightly put by one of my friends- 'Bitching is good for the soul'.
Bitching can be logically defined as- 'saying something about somebody that you wont/cant dare say on their face.'
It is gender independent. Only 'girls' bitch is the worst prejudice ever and needs to be given some serious thought. The prejudice starts with the term 'bitch'ing itself. I mean, that makes me feel so helpless but i still have to use the word.
It all sounds so silly. doesn't it? but in the larger scheme of things it makes perfect sense because bitching transcends age groups/ time/ place /social status. It is a universal truth.
And people who 'claim' that they don't bitch are either lying or they are lying. and every time you hit a low and you think that you are bitching too much just remember- 'someone somewhere is bitching about you and they will keep doing it irrespective of whether you bitch or not.'

(All this is intended in a light hearted spirit and i support only the 'good' kind of bitching which wont cause any harm to anybody. i personally condemn dirty bitching.)

when the day is bad and you are sad

you are in a bad mood. some body pissed you off or something went wrong. you want be alone and dont want to talk to anybody. but you cant do that. you have to go out and spend time with others against your wish. how many times have you or i found ourselves in such a situation? i will say "very often".
so the 'disaster day' becomes even more disastrous when you are expected to not only be with people but also laugh, smile and be happy. it increases your pain and your mood hits another low. every joke, every conversation is making you feel worse. the anger and frustration is boiling inside you, so what do you end up doing? scream at people around you? just make a very big face and sit there? walk off?
i have done it so often and every time i do such a thing, it ends up in making me feel even more miserable. why do i still do it? because there are times you just lose it and its beyond your control. guess thats when they say 'meditation' helps.
now come into the shoes of the person you just screamed at. well if you have a bad day doesnt mean that everyone around you has to be sad and quiet. accept it and try to reason it out.most of us get away with this kind of behaviour because people who care for us forgive us for being rude. Not always. life is not very kind to you always.how many times have i regretted having opened my mouth and saying something i shouldn't have ? I would say-"have lost count!"
well now when i look back, there are so many instances where i wish i had just kept my mouth shut or reacted after a giving a thought to what i was doing. Anger is like a sewerage that is clogged. you have to channelize it in the right direction else you end up in deep shit.
once a person gave me a piece of his mind when in a similar situation i just lost my temper and said something rude. "ruchika, if YOU had a bad day and are frustrated with your life, please keep it to yourself! why are you spoiling my day by screaming at me??"
That was a reaction i can never forget.
Not everyone gives that honest an opinion, but thats how most of the people feel about you for taking out your anger on them without any fault of theirs.
I am not trying to preach the art of patience nor am i being idealistic. But i think, taking out your anger on others never really helps in any way.
i am learning the art of 'self realisation'.